Wilderness Wanderings

We have been reading Exodus for our family devotion time.  Just like the Israelites, my recent past few weeks has felt a bit like an uncomfortable and irritating wilderness trek.  Imagine dirty feet, lots of walking and carrying stuff...and the temperature extremes!  I don't really have any of those things...but what I do have is decisions to make for schooling for next year (in the midst of still trying to finish out this year), sins and shortcomings in my life and that of my children, personalities of people that the Lord has put into my life that can be challenging at times, doubts and questions about what I'm doing etc.etc.etc.

I'll be honest and say that there have been times when I've read this book of the Bible and thought, "Wow, those Israelites were a bunch of ingrates!  They saw AMAZING miracles by the hand of God, and yet they grumbled, complained, and doubted." 

Then, I walk out of a season that I've just been through in the past few weeks and marvel at my ability to lose sight of WHO YHVH IS!!  How does that happen?  If the Israelites had really known the answer to the question WHO IS YHVH?, surely, they wouldn't have grumbled, complained, and made a false god to worship.  Surely, if I KNEW who YHVH is...I, too, would pass through the seasons of wilderness wanderings that I have in my life with a better testimony than I have displayed in the past few weeks. 

This time of year (March-ish) is always a struggle for me in homeschooling.  We have worked really hard for a really long time, but there is still a really good chunk of work left to be done.  Then, there is so much talk, talk, talk about plans for next year.  Too often I fall into the trap of discouragement and weariness.  I don't look to who YHVH is...I look at myself and my weaknesses and weariness.  Just like those Israelites before me, I so quickly forget the marvelous hand of God working in my family (that I am a redeemed child of the King!, that my husband and children are redeemed children of the King!, the sweet, sweet times our family shares together, what my children are learning about the amazing world that God has created, and so much more...). 

THEN, the Word of God captivates my heart, piercing me to the core:

Exodus 33: 12-14 

Moses said to the Lord, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me.  You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.'  If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you.  Remember that this nation is your people.

The Lord replied, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

The Jennifer version:

Jennifer said to the Lord, 'You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not make it really clear to me how I'm supposed to do that.  There are the SATs, ACTs, college looming, etc.  You have said, 'Jennifer, I know you by name and you have found favor with me.'

Jennifer says, "Lord, if you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so that I may know you and continue to find favor with you.  Remember that this family is your people."

The Lord replies, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."  Jennifer weeps in the arms of her Heavenly Father because He is so good!  She can do anything if His presence is with her!  She can find rest.